Course Conclusion

So, way back at the start of this course in the first blog post there were goals set and as such, the purpose of this post is to do a reflection of a very important question; have I accomplished what I have set out to do in this class over the course of this semester?

The first goal that was set way back then was that I wanted to be more tactful when communicating with others and improve on that skill to a point that it would come naturally to me instead of having to constantly put effort into it. With respect to this goal, I feel that this course has provided me some opportunities to improve on this indirectly. The POP presentation on cultural differences has helped me to improve on this when interacting with people from other cultures as it provided a good indication as to how to avoid insulting them knowingly or not. The portion on conflict management has also helped in a way as it helps when the person is already irritated or conflict has been started. However, I feel that my goal is not completely achieved as I do not think that I have learnt how to truly interact with tact and will still deliver what I feel needs to be said in my usual blunt manner.

The other goal that I had was to be more confident when presenting in front of large groups. In this goal, I feel that the fact that a final presentation is required and as such it gives a good practice for that when combined with the mock that was done. I feel that I am more confident but am still slightly uncomfortable with the whole process of standing in front of people, stage fright I guess and more practice would be beneficial.

Overall, I feel that while I have not fully accomplished the goals that I have set for myself, it has been a valuable learning experience and I have seen improvements in both fields of concern.

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

This post will be about a hypothetical situation. There are two people, Persons A and B. A and B have had a friendly relationship for some time and have been hanging out as part of the same clique but recently, A has been behaving in a very overbearing manner, always verbally abusing B when in their group of friends and having fun at B’s expense, hoping to better his standing in the status quo of the clique. B, being a more introverted person that values this group of friends has been holding in his feelings, afraid that if he were to make his feelings known the group may just think negatively about him and end up leaving him alone. Further compounding this problem is that while he can take some of it as good fun, the repeated harassment is taking its toll on his ability to ignore and play off the more offensive jokes.

The main problem is that A does not know that his actions are disturbing B and B is too shy/worried to speak up about it. In this situation, B is feeling that angry that A is having fun at his expense but is bottling up all the feelings inside. A just wants to have fun, improve his reputation within the group as being a fun person to be around. This lack of communication is preventing A from knowing what he is doing to B and B’s lack of confidence means that he cannot do anything to stop this harassment.

While the solution to this problem would be for B to simply let A know how he feels about what is going on and what A is doing to him but for a hypothetical scenario, what would be the solution to B’s problem if after letting A know about his feelings, A decides to continue with it instead of stopping or coming to a compromise?

Marc Chong
Wei Lun
Arman 

Blog Post 2, Listening skills and Non verbal behaviour

Recently, I encountered a situation that could roughly be considered a textbook example for how NOT to employ active listening as well as awareness of the various non-verbal cues that people usually exhibit while engage in conversation. 

As with most such cases, this one ends quite badly and involves a man and a woman. The woman was attempting to make conversation with the man at the dinner table. It was quite obvious that she was already quite irritated with her facial expressions and hand motions. The conversation went on for about 10 – 15 minutes and throughout the conversation, it was quite obvious that the man was not all too interested in what the woman had to say. Instead of listening to what the woman had to say and then giving feedback on what he did or did not understand about what she was saying, the man kept on repeating his own point of view, most of the time cutting off the woman in mid-sentence. To add fuel to the fire, most of the time the man was looking at his food instead of the woman, giving her the impression that he cared more about eating than what she had to say. After about 15 minutes of conversation, the woman stood up and stormed away from the table leaving most of her food uneaten and a very displeased expression on her face.

In this case, I feel that the man did not employ any active listening skills. Instead of letting the woman finish her sentences, he would cut her off with his own opinion after she had spoken a few words. Speaking over the person you are engaging in conversation with is not a good application of active listening as when you do that, you aren’t even listening to the conversation and are more interested in stating your opinion instead of what the other party may have to say. At some points in the conversation, the man even put his hands up in a sort of “stop” gesture when the woman was speaking. This is quite rude and give the other person the impression that you are not at all interested in what is being shared and just wish for the conversation to end. 

All in all, I feel that if the man had listened to the woman, there wouldn’t be an argument and she wouldn’t have stormed off, leaving him slightly confused as to why this happened


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Communication, Strengths and Weaknesses

It has always been said that everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses when it comes to a particular field and no one has either no strengths and all weaknesses or no weaknesses and all strengths. When it comes to communications, strengths and weaknesses can be subject to perception. What you perceive as a strength or a weakness, other may not. For this post, I will start first on what I perceive are my weaknesses, and then move on to me perceived strengths. 

In the field of interpersonal communications, I feel that my weakness is not approaching situations with enough tact and not being sensitive to the current situation. As a very blunt person, I am prone to saying whatever that comes into my head without really thinking through the effects on the people around me and the consequences of my words. While some personalities may be more accepting of such actions, there are others that may take it to heart and get offended. This leads to the next weakness of not being sensitive enough to the current situation in the conversation. I have noticed that I sometimes do not catch the small nuances in body language and tone in conversations and this can lead to me saying some really inappropriate things that have made situations worse much worse, which is the opposite to what I had intended.

Interestingly, my strength in communication stems from one of the weaknesses. While being blunt is usually seen as a weakness, there are certain time where bluntness can help get the message across though I feel that being blunt has the effect of gaining trust (from the people that can tolerate the bluntness) as it come across as sincerer when you aren’t mincing your words trying to get the message across while allowing possible offense to the other party’s feeling dilute the message. This has allowed me to exchange information and messages more efficiently but may not work all of the time depending on the other party.

By the end of this course, I would like myself to have achieved at least a level of tact that I can communicate with all sorts of personalities without having to put in a lot of effort to avoid offending. 



~Izaac 


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